Sonia Faleiro
Friday, June 26, 2009
Michael Jackson (1958-2009)
From an email I received last night, before the sad news was confirmed. 'I remember when I was a kid, I saw an obituary for a yesteryear star I had never heard of, and I thought about Michael Jackson and I wondered if when I was an adult, when Michael Jackson died, if it would make the newspapers, if I would find out about it, how it would be covered in the papers, if everyone would remember who he was, or if it would be like the star whose obit I had just read ... Now I am sitting here, after a long day, and all the news is about this bizarre, sad icon of a man/boy reportedly being dead. If he is dead, it feels a bit like an incorrect ending to a story. I guess he has seemed that way for a long time actually. ... I cant imagine how people, like our parents, who saw him when he was a kid, must feel.'
I think everyone will remember who he is, don't you? And perhaps in death he will receive the sympathy and consideration denied to him in life.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
What's an Adequate Punishment?
'Nurses at the Guru Govind Singh Hospital stuck a label that read 'HIV Serum positive' on the forehead of an HIV positive women.'
Just before the incident the woman had been told she was HIV Positive and had undergone an abortion.
'The nurses pasted the label on her forehead and took her around the hospital campus. It was mid-way through the parade that volunteers of 'Jamnagar District Network of People Living With HIV' noticed her. They immediately took up the matter with hospital superintendent Dr Arun Vyas. Expressing shock over the incident, Health Minister Jay Narayan Vyas told TOI that he had instituted an inquiry and asked two doctors and a nurse to proceed on leave till completion of the inquiry. The NGO took the victim out of the hospital and she is at present with her husband, who is also HIV positive. “She is traumatised and told us she does not want to live any more now that everyone knows the truth,” said the NGO's head Preeti Chavda.'
Monday, June 15, 2009
Crisis Reponse Grade: F
Actor Shiney Ahuja has been detained for allegedly raping his maid, who may or may not be underage, and may have worked for him and his wife for a month or for a year, depending on which newspaper you've wasted your money buying.
Director Mahesh Bhatt, who has inside information on everything from Shiney's life to Section 377 to global warming to 26/11, says: 'Shiney told me it was consensual.'
Also offering support are his parents, who have fled their home for that of a relative, and Shiney's former college principal, who seemed instinctively to know that 'rape is just the maid's way of settling a score.'
Update: Shiney's wife Anupam says, 'Even a woman can rape a man.'
P.S. Follow me on Twitter.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Welcome to Bombay
How I love Bombay's newspaper headlines. If anyone, anywhere in the world read them they'd cross the city, the whole country in fact, off their list forever.
Here are today's gems:
1. "Kandivali residents lynch thief; smash his head open."
2. "Watchmen ties two minors for ten hours for stealing."
1. "Kandivali residents lynch thief; smash his head open."
2. "Watchmen ties two minors for ten hours for stealing."
3. "City's Cattle to be Shifted Out."
4. "3 Students Robbed, Beaten."
And my favourite "NCP Blogs its own Trumpet."
Monday, June 08, 2009
Bean me Up
Padma Laxmi's new line of jewellery is inspired by 'the most precious spices.'What might these be you wonder, scratching your head.
Lentils.
Cloves.
Pods. (!)
Seeds.
Get your clove garland for between $600 to $6,600.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Twogger
Because I can do two things at one time (eat mango-key this in; kiss Zoey-key this in), I'm now on Twitter. Please join me at twitter.com/soniafaleiro
Labels: Personal
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Mummy-Daddy's Little Darlings
I'm glad the Congress won. But every time they do, it seems to me that regular kids take a hit.
What message does the Congress send to the children of India, when it offers more than two dozen ministerial berths to children of politicians?
Sure, they all won fair and square and so far not one of them has a criminal record. But the point isn't what you do when every door is opened to you, and opportunities heaped into your lap. Almost any half wit, as Varun Gandhi has proven, can make a go with that sort of support.
If you've never had to struggle for anything, or fight for what you need or believe in, if everything, from your education to your constituency was handed to you gift-wrapped; if you're handed a ticket no questions asked, and the fellow who warmed the constituency while he waited for you to turn 21 was your dad, what life experiences do you bring to the cabinet, particularly in this time of global economic and financial crisis'?
How will you learn to empathise with the struggles and fights of the people you claim you want to represent?
The Congress wants to reward its youth leaders and to reward also those among them who have kept their hands clean. But sometime soon they're also going to need to reward people who are young, and law abiding, and have a last name that doesn't recall a famous parent.
Dirt, Down Under
Given what we know of Australia, I've never figured why Indians choose to spend their money there. And as far as education is concerned, let's be frank, can you name one of their universities off the top of your head?
Considering what appears to be a widespread and fiendish attitude towards people of colour, and, in particular, towards Indians (sorry, we're smarter than you are, and take all your jobs. Suck it.) I recommend that Indians follow the advice of Baljinder Singh, the third Indian to be stabbed by Australians in Australia in less than a week. Let's take our money elsewhere.
According the Sydney Morning Herald, 'Education is Australia's third-largest export earner, and Indians in Australian contributed about $2 billion to the economy last financial year. ... Arun Bhutani, from AB Educational Avenues agency, which arranges for more than 1000 students a year to study in Australia, is bracing for a slump in demand. "No one wants to go for education if they don't think they will be safe," he said. ... Rupesh Duggal, from Cambridge Immigration and Education Services in Punjab, said: "There is a growing perception that people in Australia don't like students from India, and this is affecting our business." (You think?)
The world has evolved and learnt from its mistakes, and in civilised countries there has been a concerted effort on the part of Governments to ensure racist acts are treated as intolerable crimes. Australia, with its legacy of abuse of its Aborigines, clearly doesn't think this a necessary step.
Until they change, let's take our $2 billion (not including money from tourism and trade), and spend it among (civilised) people who do.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Favourite Food: Crabs
Of course, Shoaib Akhtar has genital warts. One look at the guy and you know he has not just warts, but STDs that have yet to cross from monkey to man. You also know that had he lived in a different time, he would be dying of syphilis.
What I can't understand is why the PCB can't keep this information to itself. Do they really need to inform the press that Akhtar is a specimen, that he should be bundled into a jar, and displayed at a medical facility so thousands can benefit from his mistakes? We already knew that!
Or, are they, in their ham handed manner, warning all the men, women and members of the third gender, who have been with Akhtar in the Biblical and Animal Kingdom sense, to get themselves checked for his idea of a super parting gift?
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
A: Spend $14,000 on Lap Dances
Q: How do you deal when your country's collapsing?
Alternate:
Q: How do you thumb your nose at the Taliban?
Labels: Politics
Saturday, May 16, 2009
'Make way, all, because I’m coming! And I’ll keep talking to myself, I’ll keep the words coming'
Another one of my good friends, the literary critic Chandrahas Choudhury, makes his debut as a novelist in a couple of weeks, with Arzee the Dwarf (Harper Collins, Rs 325)--'the story of the troubles of a very short and very bitter man in a very big and very frightening city, Mumbai'.
Those of you who have read Hash's work will know he needs no recommendations, his work speaks for itself. But do read this exclusive excerpt, out in this morning's Mint newspaper, and decide for yourself.
'As Arzee went skipping down the staircase, he stopped on the first floor to peep into the corridor, but there was only a cat there, prowling with its tail raised. Arzee grinned and went on his way. All the way down he could hear the clamour, and when he arrived on the narrow street, he found himself swamped by shrieking schoolchildren in their whites and navy blues, hurtling past after being ejected from the gates of the school at the other end of the street, just by where he lived. The sight of children always dismayed Arzee. Although they were no more than ten or eleven, they were all taller than him. Their smooth cheeks seemed to be laughing at his stubbled blue, their growing limbs flexing and showing off in front of his stopped ones. Their curious looks disconcerted him—they couldn’t be allowed to roam like this! He stopped till the head of the storm had passed, leaving trails of stragglers licking icecreams, trading marbles, or flying paper rockets. He walked past these last ones, meeting their stares with stares till they looked away. In the grey sky, clouds seemed to be idly grazing like sheep, and the rumbling from behind them was curiously soothing.
Rest, here.
Prime Minister Advani!
A Twought
Drop the blog for Twitter?
Friday, May 08, 2009
My Friend, Sancho
My friend Amit's Varma's first novel My Friend, Sancho is so much fun to read. I read a draft of it in one sitting, and read it again, straight through, yesterday when I recieved a copy of the book. If you're in Bombay this weekend do come by to celebrate the launch of the book on May 9 at the Crossword in Juhu (next to Chandan cinema). If you're in Delhi, Kolkata, Chennai or Bangalore, you'll be able to attend the book launch in your own city; details here. If you'd like to read a sample of the 2007 Man Asian Literary Prize-longlisted novel, Mid Day carried an exclusive excerpt that can be read here. And an interview with Amit, here.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
PDA for the PWD
Recently, our sixth floor neighbour sent the family Labrador, Tipsy, who has been with them since she was three months old, to their farm in Pune because their little girl is no more little and no longer interested in playing with Tipsy who is now six years old and by dog standards, middle aged.
And when the gentleman in the building next door got tired of his Pomeranian's constant yelping he took off her collar and threw her out of the gate, telling the building watchman, 'make sure she doesn't come back in.'
Which is why when I read this news article in The Washington Post about New Delhi's sudden fascination with Portuguese Water Dogs (courtesy Bo'Bama, and herewith known as PWD), I felt a little ill.
Firstly, there's a reason why a PWD is called a 'Water Dog.' It likes water. And unless you count the Yamuna River, or have a swimming pool in your backyard, there's not much water in Delhi a dog has access too. Second, it sounds very much like Zoey, a Jack Russell Terrier, who needs lots and lots and lots of exercise. I put three 'lots' in there to illustrate just how much exercise Zoey needs. She goes to the beach for an hour in the morning, where she runs back and forth after a ball, non stop. She's out briefly after lunch. At half three she goes back to the beach for another hour of non stop running. And then at 6 p.m., when I'm back from my own exercise, I continue my servitude and sit with Zoey for an hour in the garden, throwing the ball like I'm paid to and enjoy it. (Not true, and partly true). (I should point out though that I don't take her for her beach runs.)
I don't exercise Zoey merely because I love her and want her to be happy. I do it because I researched her breed thoroughly before I brought her home and know what she needs to remain healthy and feel loved.
It's all very well to like Bo'Bama, or to convince yourself that your life will move magically closer to that of the Obamas if you have the same breed of dog as they do. But even the Obamas researched breeds of dogs before they settled on this one, and well, they live in the White House which as far as I can tell isn't short on space.
Many parents buy dogs only because their children beg them to. (The Obamas did). But few parents realise that a human being not old enough to take responsibility for herself/himself cannot and should not be trusted with the sole responsibility of looking after another living being. When parents buy a dog believing it's enough to say to their child, 'you have to look after him/her now' they seem to assume this will magically happen. But a dog in the house is like another child. It needs more than dry food, water, and the gardener taking it out to pee once every six hours. If it doesn't get the constant care, the attention, and the exercise necessary for it's breed it will become angry, depressed, and anti social, and make sure its owner is aware of these facts by barking, biting, and peeing at will.
Reading this anecdote from the article, therefore, made me feel very sad for the PWD due to make its entry into the family: "Can't we have this dog?" Raina said his 8-year-old daughter pleaded. "That's how this whole thing started. Right away, I called our vet. I asked who we should approach, even if it meant that I have to import it. And his reply to me was: 'Sanjay, you're not the first one to call but the ninth or 10th one who has enquired since this thing flashed on the TV.'"
I'm sure Raina's eight year old is charming. But if all she knows about the PWD is that Sasha and Malia Obama have one, and now she wants one too, and if Sanjay's first instinct on hearing her request was to 'right away' call the vet and demand a dog, as opposed to 'right away' researching the breed to see whether it was a good fit for their family, well then, commiserations all around. The dog won't be pleased, and when its little owner realises she cannot replicate the cuteness of the Obamas running across the White House lawn with her own folks on the patio, she won't be either.
After all, before he was Bo Obama, the world's most famous dog was a mere 'Charlie', known around town only for his greedy guzzling of other people's tomatoes.
I'm sure Raina's eight year old is charming. But if all she knows about the PWD is that Sasha and Malia Obama have one, and now she wants one too, and if Sanjay's first instinct on hearing her request was to 'right away' call the vet and demand a dog, as opposed to 'right away' researching the breed to see whether it was a good fit for their family, well then, commiserations all around. The dog won't be pleased, and when its little owner realises she cannot replicate the cuteness of the Obamas running across the White House lawn with her own folks on the patio, she won't be either.
After all, before he was Bo Obama, the world's most famous dog was a mere 'Charlie', known around town only for his greedy guzzling of other people's tomatoes.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Another Reason to Love The New Yorker
Cover pooch Bo'Bama.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Who Knew?
That the chappals I buy from Colaba Causeway for two hundred and fifty bucks a pop are actually 'Caylan Toe Ring Sandals' (Toe ring!!). They retail for $195 at Neiman Marcus. (Mine lack the charming fringe detail. Thank God.)
Labels: Bombay
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Sigh ...
Sanjaya Malakar is now a circus act. Not even in the Cirque du Soleil. In some joint called Fargo-Moorhead.
